Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Attention Walmart Shoppers!!!

I have a confession to make.

I, Haute Mama, went to Walmart yesterday.

Now before you judge me, (and think I have low IQ) hear me out.

My dad, whom I call Arthur, (Jerry Stiller King of Queens) turned 65 and wanted to load up at Walmart of all places. He thought there would be major senior discounts.

And noooooo we just couldn't go to any Walmart, Arthur wanted to go the one of the biggest Walmarts---at Capilano Mall.

He was so excited, he even scoped it out on Google Earth!

It's not that I'm anti-Walmart or anything..well ok I am.

I'm just not a quantity over quality kinda person. Arthur thinks I'm a snob 'cause I said i would NEVER buy food or clothes there for myself or anyone I care about. Even the BH said, "don't buy any baby clothes for Zara there".

See, he's a better human than I, and even he wouldn't buy his precious angel clothes there.

So, of course Arthur has to practilly buy a whole new wardrobe and load up on nasty Kelloggs granola bars. Just because he's Arthur. Too me, anything with a polyester blend is nasty or laced with that hydrogented crap in it.

He evn wanted to buy the kids shirts with Walmart written on it. The funny thing is, my 13 year old thought that would of been "kewl" of the coffin dodger to do. (kids these days.. love anything stupid on a shirt)

Whew. Thank GOD I talked him out of buying runners there. That was close.

Arthur even wanted me to go into labour and deliver the baby at Walmart so I could be on TV for the world to see HAUTE MAMA shops at Walmart and Zara could be hailed "Walmart Baby" and get a lifetime free of Walmart clothes.

Yikes. Can you imagine? To be dubbed Walmart Mama instead of Haute Mama? My precious image would be ruined!

Anyhoo, I'm sure Arthur thought the joke was on me because I spent more than him.

I bought diapers, a funky baby tub, sundries and a crepe maker.

I must of saved $50!!

And psssst Arthur, I'm not even a senior ;p

1 comment:

Pendullum said...

Know the feeling...
I do all my shopping locally...
But once the evil empire sucks you in... somehow you end up spending money despite yourself...
do they have sublimal music....????ooooooooooooooo
but i agree... no matter how cool Haute Momma is... it will be all lost if you went into labour in aisle seven...